Quran Garden

Session 252

Chapter 2

Verses 233

Mothers should breastfeed their children for two full years – for those who wish to complete the full term of nursing, and clothing and maintenance must be borne by the father in a fair manner. No one should be burdened with more than they can bear: no mother shall be made to suffer harm on account of her child, nor any father on account of his. The same duty is incumbent on the father’s heir. If, by mutual consent and consultation, the couple wish to wean the child, they will not be blamed, nor will there be any blame if you wish to engage a wet nurse, provided you pay as agreed in a fair manner. Be mindful of God, knowing that He sees everything you do. (Chapter 2: Verse 233)

Look at the beauty of Islam and the mercy of Our Lord.  Here the Almighty talks about mothers nursing their newborns after divorce.  Divorce breeds discord between the couple, but the All-Merciful wants to shield the children from the parent’s disagreements.  He explains that no matter how ugly the divorce was, it should not be a source of misery for the innocent child.

The rulings in the verse are directed towards the divorced woman after she leaves the husbands' house.  More specifically, in the Arabic origin, the phrase “and clothing and maintenance must be borne by the father in a fair manner" is in the feminine plural form which linguistically includes the mother and the child.  If everyone lived under one roof, there would have been no need to mention that the man is required to fulfill the family’s needs.  Had the woman been divorced without a child, she would have to provide for herself.  But in the situation under study, God imposes the rights of the infant over everyone else’s.  Both the infant and the nursing mother have to be provided for by the ex-husband.  The mother would not have this right had it not been for the nursing infant.  Some people misunderstood that providing livelihood and clothing is the man’s duty for his ex-wife in general.  But this ruling only applies to a divorced mother who is breastfeeding a child from the broken marriage.  God cements this right for the infant so men do not think that they are free from their responsibilities after divorce.   He says: “Mothers should breastfeed their children for two full years – for those who wish to complete the full term of nursing, and clothing and maintenance must be borne by the father in a fair manner.”  So the father is responsible for supporting the child and his mother who is nursing according to his ability.  

The verse continues: “No one should be burdened with more than they can bear: no mother shall be made to suffer harm on account of her child, nor any father on account of his.”  Both parents are addressed here.  It is not acceptable to exhaust the father with nagging demands beyond his financial ability.  Similarly, the father must not harm the mother by leaving her to fend for herself and her baby.  In either case, the child must not be used as a source of stress or a tool for revenge between the divorced couple.  Allah sets a precise framework to guarantee the child's rights.  This child has lost the warmth of living with two loving parents; he or she should not suffer any further. 

The responsibilities of providing food and clothing do not stop if the father of the infant dies.  In such a case, who would support the newborn and the mother? God answers:  “The same duty is incumbent on the father’s heir.”  Even though the infant may inherit a lot of money from the father’s wealth, the care of the orphan and the nursing mother and the burden of managing the wealth still fall on the guardian of the child. 

By setting these rules, Allah –the All-Merciful- guaranteed the rights of the child under the care of a loving family, under the care of a divorced family where the father is alive; and secured the same rights under the care of a divorced family where the father is dead. 

The verse continues: “If, by mutual consent and consultation, the couple wish to wean the child, they will not be blamed.”  Allah wants to preserve the compassion and care between the divorced couple.  Divorce should not mean that everything has ended and as a result, the children suffer.  The phrase: “by mutual consent and consultation” indicates that a common bond remains between the man and the woman.  This bond ensures that the children are not deprived of proper care.  The father and mother must agree on how to best raise their children.  They should not use hate and disagreement as obstacles in the way of caring for the children. 

Neglect after divorce is a serious issue that produces children who often lead troubled lives.  What is the fault of a child who is born into a dysfunctional family?  God’s teachings guide each parent on how to best provide for the child so the next generation would enjoy a better and more productive life. 

At the beginning of the verse, God says: “Mothers should breastfeed their children for two full years – for those who wish to complete the full term of nursing,” but what if circumstances prevent breastfeeding for the full two years? God answers: “If, by mutual consent and consultation, the couple wish to wean the child, they will not be blamed.” 

The verse continues: “nor will there be any blame if you wish to engage a wet nurse, provided you pay as agreed in a fair manner.”  When the father entrusts his child to his divorced wife for nursing, the child receives warmth and love from the mother.  But in cases where she cannot nurse the child due to weakness or health issues, then the father can look for a wet nurse to breastfeed the newborn.  Again, the father has the responsibility to provide the wet-nurse with whatever she requires for breastfeeding the child.   

The verse ends with: “Be mindful of God, knowing that He sees everything you do.”  God is warning all parties against dishonesty and injustice.  For example, a father who does not provide what he can; a mother who uses her newborn as an excuse to overburden her ex-husband, or a wet-nurse who does not care for the child properly.  Allah issues a warning to all those involved in the child’s care: remember, you are not dealing with the family, you are not dealing with your ex-wife or ex-husband, you are dealing with God who sees what you do and knows what you hold in your heart.